“Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You’ll avoid the tough decisions, and you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted.”
Colin Powell
Does your day sometimes get derailed by an ill-received hater’s message or destructive criticism? This could happen to anyone, however, as your visibility and influence grows in a community or organization, you will expect to receive even more. So let’s acknowledge that this is not necessarily a bad thing to have.
Your professional and personal success depends on your strength and resilience to take criticism, at home, in an office or on the Internet.
But how do you plan to deal with hater’s message or destructive criticism?
1. You don’t have to get everyone to like you.
Doing so is a sign of mediocrity. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do. Let’s admit it, there’re always 10% of people who will find a way to take anything negatively to complain about. If that person is not well reasoned, don’t expect to use logical reasoning to get them out of their emotion.
“In the end, winning is sleeping better.” — Jodie Foster
2. Assume good intent
Assume that person means well, and has positive intent behind what is said. If that person approached with a confrontational way, decouple their emotional behavior and the actual message they are trying to convey (and failed miserably). Focus on the suggestion, not the tone of the feedback. When you choose to listen and think differently, you feel differently.
3. Use growth mindset
When you feel hurt by someone’s comment, it’s a sign that there’s a tiny part inside of you believes it’s true, and you are ashamed of it.
“You’re the worst piano player!” The attacker’s message would lost all its power if either you are a world-renowned pianist (so it’s not true), or you are not even aspired to learn to play piano (so you’re not ashamed).
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” – Epictetus
Now you can use the tools in the reverse order when you see a hater’s message or destructive criticism online or offline. You can have more effective communication, healthier relationship, and a better version of yourself.